Just over a year ago, I made the “adult” decision to buy a place. I had always wanted to find a home of my own and have free reign to do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. Run around the house naked (not a pretty sight), watch TV (Walker, Texas Ranger anyone?) until three in the morning, eat crappy, leave dishes in the sink, crap on the floor, and come home from work to silence, a big key to not going crazy. Don't get me wrong, I love people, but sometimes you just want to come home and not hear the whining of another person.
Like for one, when in my life am I going to be able to go work out for a couple hours right after work, come home and eat dinner late, and then decide I am in the mood for a little Guitar Hero, play for a couple of hours and then go to bed only after watching three episodes of SportsCenter? (I swear the shows are different, though no woman I have ever spoken to believes me!) Never! I have seen how marriage works, and the aforementioned option is not in the cards. Not to say I don't want marriage, but there is a lot to give up, A LOT!
There is a flip side to all of this that we are all familiar with. It's called loneliness. It reaches the best of us. Human companionship is a key to so much happiness that you can't get as a single person. Sound like anyone? If you answered "my parents," you are correct! I am reminded of the "happiness through companionship" thought everyday by parents and siblings who are happily married with children. I have no doubt that I will be happy when that day comes, but happiness comes in many different forms. Right now it's watching the Olympics until the wee hours of the morning, eating burgers off the George Foreman grill at 11 p.m. and throwing down Rice Krispies Treats until I feel sick. (What can I say, it's my drug of choice)
I realize I don’t fit the LDS norm. I am freakin’ 29 and single. As a Priesthood holder in the church, I am looked at as having a problem. Screw that! Do I have issues with commitment? Yeah, I am single and 29, I would be lying if I said any differently, but the world has become more about temporary happiness than eternal joy, and many in the church, including me, sometimes gets caught up in it. One specific thing is divorce. Being 29, I have a lot of friends who have gone through, or are currently going through divorce. It scares the CRAP out of me. I think of that as normal.
Living alone is amazing! Does is suck sometimes? Yes. But I can only control myself, not others. A wise person once said, “Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.” As long as those three things are a part of my daily thoughts, I can’t be afraid of tomorrow. Whatever it brings.
Posts
