Halloween

So Halloween day turned into quite the adventure. Spent the early morning taking a friend to the ER after he broke his wrist playing basketball, spent the afternoon eating some Brazilian grub and shooting guns with the Elders, and the night with Cory and Sarah and the kids for trick or treating. Eventful to say the least.

Today's Talk

I know some of you showed some interest in hearing the talk I gave today in church. Since I typed out the entire thing, I figured I would throw it on here for you.  Enjoy.

Be grateful, love and work hard=true happiness and no regret

I was very humbled to receive this opportunity to speak to you today.  Especially because of the topic and the timing of the request.  President Monson’s talk (Finding Joy in the Journey) made a significant impact on me when I first heard it, and reading it again brought back many of those same feelings.  I only hope the spirit can be with me so that my feelings regarding his words will make a small difference in each of our lives today.

Throughout our lives we have heard that change happens.  President Monson reiterates this sentiment quoting the familiar adage, “Nothing is as constant as change.”  But realization of that quote means nothing until change happens to you.  To help make this point I decided to quote a passage from my journal from this past week.

“What a difference a week makes. What a difference life in general makes. Just over a week ago, I left town for work. Not even half way through my trip, I found out that my uncle passed away completely unexpectantly. The worst feeling in the world in not having an opportunity to say goodbye to someone you love. Even worse than that, is realizing that is takes a death or some other catastrophic event to put life into perspective. You automatically ask yourself questions like "What am I doing with my free time? Am I telling my family everyday how much I love them? How will my decisions affect my future?" and so on. There are so many things that go through your mind.

The week of being away and dealing with a death in the family helped me to realize how lazy I have been, and how I have put off some inevitables.  Sitting around and being satisfied with the ordinary is fine. It suits many people, but true happiness is never satisfied with the mundane. I envision happiness as something that provides much more than the ordinary, the feeling of accomplishment from hard work and the rewards reaped from such work.

Neglecting family and loved ones can seem fine in the present with no knowledge of the future, but they can be taken in the blink of an eye. Be grateful, love and work hard=true happiness and no regret.  A simple formula that all of us can follow.”

This is the formula I would like to speak about today.  

First, Be Grateful.

D&C 59:7 says, “Thou shalt thank the Lord thy God in all things.”

Being grateful is easy by word, but not so much by deed.  In our lives, we have the Gospel of Jesus Christ, fully restored with a prophet and apostles to lead and guide us.  We have been raised to know that individual study can teach us of those truths.  We have scriptures, we have families, friends.  I assume we often show our gratefulness to those we love more often then we show how grateful we are to the one person who provided all we have.

“When ye are in the service of your fellow beings, ye are only in the service of your God.”

Serving God’s children “SHOWS” our gratefulness to our Heavenly Father.

Second, Love

When I received the news of my uncle’s passing, I was alone in a hotel room.  Not the best way to get that kind of news.  One of the first things that popped into my head was the realization that I wasn’t prepared.  I couldn’t remember the last time I told my uncle I loved him.  Now I understand preparing for the death of a loved one is nearly impossible, but we can tell them we love them more, we can show them we love them more.  I made it a point to promise myself that night that I would tell those close to me how much I loved and cared about them without hesitation, because hesitation to such promptings only brings about regret later. 

Third, Work Hard

One of President Monson’s favorite quotes is from the Music Man.  “You pile up enough tomorrows, and you’ll find you’ve collected a lot of empty yesterdays.”

Working hard stretches to so many facets of our lives.  Work hard to be the best in our chosen profession, work hard to be a worthy son or daughter of God by studying the scriptures, praying, attending our meetings and such, work hard in our calling and so many more.  Life is way too short to complain or worry that things aren’t the way they should be, because empty yesterdays will be the logical result to that kind of thinking.  

Result is True Happiness and No Regret

Showing our gratitude to those we love including our Father in Heaven, telling those we care about how much we love them constantly and working hard will leave our lives with complete happiness and no regret.

Measure of a Man (Clive Romney)

Our journey on earth is short.  What we do everyday is a big deal.  The decisions we make now do affect our future, but we can’t allow that big responsibility to lead us towards fear.  Fear is Satan’s opposition to Faith.  The only thing we should focus our lives on is satisfying that Man who gave each of us life, who has provided a way for us to return to live with him  Our happiness, our ability to adapt to change without regret depends on our own willingness to do what is necessary.

Be grateful, love and work hard=true happiness and no regret

What a difference a week makes. What a difference life in general makes. Just over a week ago, I left for New York, Connecticut and Florida for work. Not even half way through my trip, I find out that my uncle passes away completely unexpectantly. The worst feeling in the world in not having an opportunity to say goodbye to someone you love. Even worse than that, is realizing that is takes a death or some other catastrophic event to put life into perspective. You automatically ask yourself questions like "What am I doing with my free time? Am I telling my family everyday how much I love them? How will my decisions affect my future?" and so on. There are so many things that go through your mind.

The week of being away and dealing with a death in the family helped me to realize how lazy I have been, and how I have put off some inevitables. Namely, career and marriage. Sitting around and being satisfied with the ordinary is fine. It suits many people, but true happiness is never satisfied with the mundane. I envision happiness as something that provides much more than the ordinary, the feeling of accomplishment from hard work and the great rewards that are seen from that hard work.

I know that it's time for me to get married. To whom is still up in the air, but I know I gave up on Kelly way too early to know if she is it for sure. That is why we are still together. Judging too early is not working...it hasn't worked in the past, so working in the here and now would be ridiculous. One day at a time, being grateful for what I have and knowing that God will eventually find a way to knock some sense into me will keep me afloat.

Neglecting family and loved ones can seem fine in the present with no knowledge of the future, but they can be taken in the blink of an eye. Be grateful, love and work hard=true happiness and no regret.  A simple formula that all of us can follow.

The 15-Day Rule is in Full Effect

It's over, at least for now, but most likely for good. I know I mentioned the 15-day rule I used back in college, and somehow that rolled over to the present as well. I wish I could explain a specific reason, other than it didn't feel good, but I can't. This time, I am taking at least a few weeks off. I should've done that with Tall (3-breakup) girl, but I didn't.

Here's to a much less stressful February! (clang)

The 15-day Rule

In college I used to have a rule.  Date a girl for 15 days, then I was either fully in or jumping ship. Maybe that sounds a little harsh, but the reality is, I was right on most of my decisions. The only girl I ever regretted breaking up with was someone I extended past the 15-day mark. So it can come as no surprise that the analysis of the current girl is in full swing. Not only is it in line with past thinking, but it comes with my age.  I analyze more and more.  So here is what I have so far, and I am pretty sure I am right in thinking the way I am.

First, it is difficult to fully understand why a girl is so into me so early.  Sounds weird I know, and I realize this is something I can get used to.  Having a girl care enough about me to want to know what my needs are, etc.  But less than two weeks in?  Maybe this is a wake-up call for all of the girls I scared early!

Second, confidence is a big thing in the world of dating.  It's hard for me to constantly feel like I need to reassure her that I want to be in this relationship: especially this early on.  But that is the case.  She is a great looking girl, has a lot going for her, yet she needs reassurance. Seems suspect, but I also maybe reading a little too much into it.

The last thing that recently caught me extremely off guard, she calls me up to ask if I care if she goes on a trip.  Really?  Last time I checked, I am not her fiance', her husband, or her father.  It seems a little weird that the question would even be asked.  Have I mentioned we haven't even been dating 2 WEEKS?

Maybe this is why I am still single, answering the question that so many have asked for so long, but to me, happiness in a relationship must be mutual and I have never really had to deal with this kind of stuff so early on.

The saga continues...

Privacy Matters

So I decide to make this blog private with the idea that sharing personal information about my dating life would be easier. I came to a realization that is full of crap (sorry mom). There is such a small group of people that I let into this part of my life, and even then, they all get different parts of the same story. I keep most of it locked down. It makes my life a lot less complicated as well as making the breakup much easier, because that's where all of these relationships tend to lead.

Now after that stellar introduction, the latest in the saga of Nic, whether the whole truth or not, this is what you get.

"The RM Girl" as Mom so elegantly calls her, continues to be great, quiet, but great. The first two weeks of any relationship for me are all about what is wrong with the girl. What can I say, I am cautious (except for tall girl who screwed me three times and I was stupid enough to let it happen). So every time I hang out with her, I am looking for another excuse not to be in it. So far so good. The only things I have found to be cautious about is how quiet she is, the fact that she owns cats and calls them her "kids" and that she is an inactive member of the church. I know I haven't mentioned that part yet, though most of you already knew. I can't hold it against the girl yet, she wants to get active and wants to get married in the temple. That is enough for me for now. The cats on the other hand, I figured if I was every going to have to deal with a pet, it would be a dog. New Mexico turned me off to cats for LIFE. 

So we continue to hang out almost daily.  Friday I doubled with some friends to see how she handled hanging out with other people.  She was still very quiet, but very flirtatious. Not gonna lie, it still weirds me out to be with a girl that seems to want me so quickly. She has to be the female version of Shallow Hal or something. Anyway, she did drop a half rack of ribs without issue, which was pretty impressive for a girl under 300 lbs (not to say she is even close to that...I am not even going to try and explain myself here, waste of energy, but you should know what I mean) The next day we babysit Cory's kids, a great opportunity to see how she handles children. She seemed to do very well, except I got stuck with poopy diaper duty. Mallory loved her, she got Coby to eat when I couldn't and Carter didn't tell her he didn't like her and threaten his father would beat her up like he did to me, so all in all it was a successful night.

This whole situation is still very new, but seems to be moving really fast. Not good for a relationship with so many holes. Those will need to be filled before the meter turns from cautious to invested. When I get invested I usually get jacked up, so the meter will be at cautious for a while.

More to come...

As the World Turns

So I promised to be a little bit more open about all aspects of my life in my previous entry to this blog, but soon realized the more specific I got, the more I needed to make the blog private. So if you are reading this entry, you are one of a select few people allowed into the life of Nic. You are also among the few people who actually give a crap, so don't consider yourself that special.

I have received a number of comments regarding my previous entry. My only desire in sharing my thoughts regarding Provo girl was to give everyone an idea of exactly what the heck is going through my mind when I take these girls out. I of course don't share it all...there are kiddies that read this stuff.

So a few days after I take Provo girl out, think she is ridiculously cool, then realize I was getting the shrug off, I run into a girl at work of whom I had seen on a number of occasions, but never talked to her long enough to get an idea for who she was.  Friday was that day and after about a 10-minute conversation in front of my bosses cubicle, I ask her out. (Boss doesn't hear a thing, I am 00 freakin 7)

For dinner, I took her to Red Robin, because that is the easiest first-date place in the history of first dates. Food is fairly cheap, it's loud enough where awkward silence will never feel AS AWKWARD, and if the date completely sucks, at least there are TVs to catch up on the night's games.  (You have to make sure to sit in the bar, as I did)  The first 20 minutes were awkward, not gonna lie. I was looking to see what games were on 5 minutes in. Conversation was a little difficult and I was about to throw in the towel, but then she started to talk.  I don't know if she was nervous, if I was nervous or what, but after we got some steak fries in us, we were talking like mad about our families, goals, food, sports and everything else you can think of to get out of the way on a first date.

We end up hanging out for a few hours that night, and later she tells me she wants to hang out with me again, THE NEXT DAY! What girl does that? No girl I have ever taken out.  They all play a game of cat and mouse, thinking that is the only way to truly attract the guy, or to be attracted to him.  She came out and just said what she felt.  What did I do in response? I said nothing...why commit when I can do exactly what girls have done to me.  Nice work Nic.  

In all honesty, I think I wanted to sit back and ask myself what the freak was wrong with her. Girls don't act like that, so either there was something wrong with her, I was a lot more attractive than I thought, or the more logical explanation, she was just open about her feelings.

So we hang out Saturday, then Sunday, Monday and Wednesday.  (Had to skip a day in there, because that's what I do)

What happens next is anyone's guess.  I am sure I will soon find out she was a man until the "operation" or she is a control freak and won't ever allow me to play basketball again, or she only eats vegetables...all of which are equally tragic realizations.  For now, things are good and that in itself is a victory.

Real World, Nic Style

For all of you who have ever seen an episode of the "Real World" on MTV, you know how ridiculous it is.  They say, "7 strangers picked to live in a house and see what happens when life starts being real" or some crap like that.  I will admit, I have seen an episode or two when boredom hits an absolute high and I can't think of anything productive to do, but what it boils down to is people, for the most part, love hearing about other people's lives.  A blog should work the same way, and the one part about my life I hate talking about is dating, seeing as how I am 29 and the pressure already exists at a high enough rate.  But really, who cares?  My dating life sucks some times, is good at other times, but it is always interesting.  Since this is a public blog, I have to keep details about names and places out, unless it starts getting good feedback and people want more.  Then I will make the blog private and all those unruly fans who like to hear about my dating life can subscribe to unusual doses of me!

As easy as it would be to go back and start reliving some of the past (the 3-breakup experience, the blind date from hell setup by a coworker, the manly softball player and so many more) I think the best thing to do is to begin with the here and now, talk about what happened recently. Although it was another blind date, it was probably top 10 in the last few years.

I get setup by a friend of mine who tells me about this tall, good-looking girl in his ward that will somehow be perfect for me. What's great about blind dates is I have never heard anyone tell me their friend, sibling, cousin or whomever, would be terrible for me or is nasty looking, but 90 percent of them are one or both.  In fact, I have left some blind dates wondering if my looks and personality are slowly fading together because the dates keep getting worse.  

The other major question I had was why my single friend wanted to set me up with a good looking girl when he could've easily asked her out himself.  His response, "She is not in my league."  Fair enough. I accept.

I make a phone call to this girl a little over a week ago to get an idea of who she is.  (For the sake of this, we will call her Sally).  Sally tells me she is a teacher, loves sports, her family, working out; all very positive things for me.  She seems very down to earth, and we talk for almost an hour that first time.  We subsequently speak for a couple hours before I finally take her out earlier this week.

Since past experiences in blind-dating (and really dating in general) have been terrible, I decide to start working outside of the box. The girl seems cool enough and one I will most likely be interested in, so I buy her a flower.  

Note: I haven't purchased a flower for a girl in nearly 10 years because very few girls appreciate them and I have had nothing but bad experiences with those girls I bought them for.  I also decide to only do things on the date that will illicit conversation, or complete awkward silence.  At least it would give me an opportunity to see if I had enough in common with her to continue to have any interest.

So I pick her up around 7:30, give her the flower (which she seems to genuinely appreciate), then we head off to dinner.  Dinner goes surprisingly well.  For some reason, I was a little nervous before the date, but as we started talking, I calmed down.  We talked for two hours about everything, and it seemed to go pretty smooth. In my head I kept saying, "I am digging this one."  But I couldn't figure out why.  She was definitely different than most girls I date (not in looks, but more her type of personality).  I guess you could say I was intrigued.  So I invited her to plan B.

Girls, here's a note for you:  Every guy has a Plan A, B and C for every date.  You pass the first test, Plan A, you make it to Plan B and so forth.  

So Sally makes it to Plan B, which was a milkshake. (By the way, I hardly go to Plan B's unless I like them, or feel completely forced; which happened recently with the "Molly." We'll leave it at that). We shared one and talked for another hour and continued to talk about everything from family values to pet peeves to embarrassing moments and a ton more.  After that hour I decide to forgo a Plan C because it was getting late. I didn't want to be the never-ending blind date she began to resent and I wanted to take her out again.

So I drive home feeling pretty good about the night.  I was interested, she seemed fairly interested (who talks for three hours with someone without interest?) and I was looking forward to seeing her again.  What's next in the story? The obvious in the dating like of Mr. Nic. 

I call family for advice, I think about the repercussions of every possible decision, which I realize is exactly what a girl would do (sorry ladies) but I liked her and didn't want to be stupid. I decide to call her the next day and get an idea for her desire to go out with me again. Probably too quick, but the reality is, girls are fairly easy to read the day after.  They let their intentions known in both verbal and nonverbal ways. Most wait on the verbal cues tending to try and stay away from making things awkward or hurting someone's feelings, expect for temple girl (there are nicknames for all the girls I take out thanks to my parents, and temple girl really should've been labeled, too high of expectations girl, but that story is for another day).  

So, I call Sally the next day and we talk for a few minutes.  I say talk, but it was the most awkward 10 minutes of my life.  She is either the easiest girl to read, giving me the obvious shrug off, or she is terrible at showing a guy she likes him.  Either way, the phone call was terrible.  That leads us to today.  What happens today? No clue, but I can tell you the expectations have sufficiently diminished thanks to the follow-up phone call.  Freak!

To be continued...

Late Christmas

So it's January 11, and still no Christmas pictures you say?  Well the wait is over.  Here is a select few from the trip.  I didn't include all 430 to spare you some time.  Enjoy!